When I was a young tot, I learned to read and write at a very early age. And with that special power, I discovered the art of argument and negotiation. To this day my mom claims she still has notes I used to slip under her door detailing my case of why the punishment I [...]
Category: Sarcastic Life
SHIT’S ABOUT TO GET REAL
Well. It's my last week of being 36...I know, I know...some of you out there say 36 is still young, etc...HOWEVER, in the realm of all I want to accomplish and do in my life, turning 37 is abso-fucking-lutely scary. I know I blog a lot about dating, and I make fun of some of [...]
AGE DOESN’T MAKE YOU GROWN FOLK
HOW AN "ADULT" HANDLES REJECTION THE WRONG WAY Scene One: Houston, TX Source: Bumble Scenario: Planned meet up for drinks Participants: Me and "Joe" Results: Stage 5 Clinger and more than likely bipolar...Or just a regular ol' douchebag...you be the judge So when I'm on these ridiculous dating sites/apps, I like to vet people for witty banter [...]
RANT: WHY PATIENCE IS A FUCKING JOKE
Alright - I woke up today in a bitching mood -- and not in a good way. So in order for me to settle into the day, I'm going to need to get a few things off my chest. I work my ass off. Anyone who knows me knows that I give 110% in anything [...]
DO WE REALLY NEED TO GO BACK TO DATING 101?
Fellas -- and ladies -- online dating is a fucking nightmare. But we're all doing it so let's try to make the process as easy as possible. I didn't ever think I would need to go into a diatribe of the 'do's and don'ts' of online dating but apparently I do! It's not hard to remember [...]
REASONS YOU’RE NOT GETTING ANYWHERE ONLINE
Alright, fellas. Here's another one for you. I'm going to give you the 411 on how to have a successful interaction with a lady online. So you swiped right (or starred, or liked or matched on whatever app/site you use) and the initial 'hello' pleasantries have been initiated...Clearly there was some attraction so I'm gonna [...]
THIS ONE IS FOR THE FELLAS — IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A SELF-MADE, INDEPENDENT WOMAN, DO NOT DO THIS
Ok. I have to say something. I'm sure it's been said ad nauseum but I have to emphasize the point -- Guys, if you are SERIOUS about online dating, let me give you a few pointers. It is NOT cool to have your profile pic as any of the following: bare torso/no head (i don't [...]
NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES
Woke up with a little less of a heartache, and a little more perspective. It's funny how "love", "infatuation", "twitterpation", etc makes us literally stupid. As in we actually believe that the person(s) who hurt us have the capability of making us feel unwanted/unloved/heartbroken/etc. No. Trust me. The person(s) who hurt us do not have [...]
STRONG HEARTS EVEN BREAK A LITTLE
I'm back to the land of reality. Jesus, it's hard as fuck to be surrounded by all that makes me anxious and sad and nostalgic. So Iceland -- what an incredibly beautiful country. I cannot even begin to describe how insane the landscape was/is. It was on my bucket list to see the Aurora Borealis...and [...]
A WOMAN TRAVELING SOLO – CRAZY OR STRONG AF?
So I'm currently sitting in the Houston airport prepping to hop another across-the-pond trip. I've made this trip COUNTLESS of times ... but this time is for me... not work...and it's not a piggy-back from work so I'm stoked. This will be the first time in years that I'm literally leaving it all behind. No [...]
My Sarcastic Life 