REASONS YOU’RE NOT GETTING ANYWHERE ONLINE

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Alright, fellas.  Here’s another one for you.  I’m going to give you the 411 on how to have a successful interaction with a lady online.  So you swiped right (or starred, or liked or matched on whatever app/site you use)  and the initial ‘hello’ pleasantries have been initiated…Clearly there was some attraction so I’m gonna let you know how you can move forward with this conversation:

  1. Ask a question.  DO NOT write an entire paragraph of your workout routine or your eating regimen then end that explanation without bouncing the ball back to her.  This is not the “Joe” site (or whatever the fuck your name is)…you’re both there for a reason so explore that reason a bit before chunking the deuce or making a date.
  2. Using the example topic above, DO NOT write an entire paragraph of your workout routine or your eating regimen…period.  (I’m using real-life examples here).  We don’t care at this point.  I understand that we’re all here to get to know each other a bit before deciding our next move, but find an interesting topic and go with that.  We don’t need to know your life routine just yet.  A simple “I work out and eat healthy.  How about you?” will suffice.
  3. Be real.  DO NOT start complaining about all the girls you meet on this app/site.  We don’t care about them.  If you’re that jaded/pessimistic about using the site, leave.  There definitely ARE other ways to meet people.  It’s a choice to be here.
  4. If we put time into our answers and ask you a question, DO NOT give us a one sentence answer back.  If you’re not interested, be polite and say so.  Don’t be a passive-aggressive asshole.
  5. Don’t be hasty.  DO NOT start any conversation with – so can we meet?  Online dating is scary as fuck…and actual dating takes time…We want to know if you’re going to be worth our time before we meet.  I GET wanting the interpersonal communication, but in this busy world, we’d like to get a better feel for what we’d be getting into if we actually did meet.

So essentially the number one rule is ask us questions.  If a gal doesn’t return with more questions, then move on.  I’m sure you are an awesome guy (no I’m not but you think you are so that’s all that matters).  Show her how awesome you are by getting to know about HER.  Gauge your topics by whether or not you would want to sit down and have a genuine discussion on that matter and whether or not the lady you’re trying to impress will want to as well.  Stay positive.  Don’t list out your woes on the first interaction  Later you can have witty banter about the idiots on the dating site (as I’m doing here) but not as a first impression.  Do not be a passive-aggressive asshole.  Period.  Be thoughtful of your answers otherwise just leave the conversation completely.  Lastly, don’t be desperate.  Get a little more background/personality knowledge about someone before asking them for their time.  Time is the most precious thing we have and us strong ladies don’t give that shit out for free.

So next time you’re doubting the success rates of these online sites/apps, ask yourself if you’re doing the above.  If you are, you’re a fuck-tard and should address your attitude asap.

 

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