THIS ONE IS FOR THE FELLAS — IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A SELF-MADE, INDEPENDENT WOMAN, DO NOT DO THIS

c47ad-img_3492Ok.  I have to say something.  I’m sure it’s been said ad nauseum but I have to emphasize the point — Guys, if you are SERIOUS about online dating, let me give you a few pointers.

It is NOT cool to have your profile pic as any of the following:
  1. bare torso/no head (i don’t care if you have a fantastic body, this is just creepy)
  2. group shot with you and your bros (we don’t know you so the hot one in that shot could be your friend…then we just get disappointed)
  3. Selfie in the mirror showing just your eyes (you hiding a pimple?)
  4. Flexing in the gym mirrors (ESPECIALLY if you have to lift your shirt and loop it over your neck in the middle of the gym. You look like a douche.)
  5. Pic with you and hot chick proceeded by many pics of you and other hot chicks (seriously? Do you WANT to date or just brag and show us how shallow you are?)
  6. Pic of you sitting in a dentist office with the dentist bib (were you just getting a little laughing gas and decide to open an online dating account? Stop it. Not your best moment.)
  7. Pic of your junk in boxer-briefs (holy hell, my eyes are bleeding)
  8. Stop posting pics of you with monkeys or tigers — or any exotic animals — unless you actually OWN that monkey or tiger we could care less about this pic and it’s overused.
  9. Any ambiguous artsy-fartsy image that gives us no indication of who you are or what you look like…If you’re going for “like me for my personality,” just remember — the gateway to dating is ALWAYS physical attraction…And it’s online dating – we’re window shopping here no trying to interpret a Rembrant.
  10. A pic of Buffalo Bill… for obvious reasons.
Posting ANY of the above mentioned pics will not pull you a good lady.  What amazes me EVEN MORE is, when I actually click on these guy’s profiles for shits and grins, their profile descriptions indicate that they are ‘looking for a smart and down-to-earth girl’ or an ‘intelligent woman who knows who she is’ and other seemingly decent and normal desires for a relationship…Dudes, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET THIS TYPE OF GIRL if your screen name is ‘big_cock_87’ or ‘freakinthebed1992’…I’d like to take you in for a hug and a throat punch then implant some logic into your brain because I seriously don’t have the time to teach you all you actually need to know about women.  Bless your mothers’ little hearts.
I’m not saying the ladies are innocent of ridiculous online profile pics, but I don’t get to see those, and I’m just trying to help a brotha’ out.  I WISH it were morally and legally ok to showcase some of the gems I get to swipe left on, but, alas, I’m a good person, and everyone deserves love… even if you’re a freak with no clue of what women are ACTUALLY looking for in a man.  Best of luck on that.
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2 thoughts on “THIS ONE IS FOR THE FELLAS — IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A SELF-MADE, INDEPENDENT WOMAN, DO NOT DO THIS

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