4714a-downloadI’m back to the land of reality.  Jesus, it’s hard as fuck to be surrounded by all that makes me anxious and sad and nostalgic.

So Iceland — what an incredibly beautiful country.  I cannot even begin to describe how insane the landscape was/is.  It was on my bucket list to see the Aurora Borealis…and I did. And it was everything.  I climbed volcanoes, slid down volcanoes on my ass, met some cool people, took some amazing pics, hiked waterfalls, drove over insane terrain…It was definitely a vacation for the books.
But, here I am, back to life.  A life I really needed a break from…and now that I’m back, I realize that there are so many things that need to change…pronto.  I won’t go into many specifics because, well, it is the interweb 🙂  But most important of all, I need a head change.  You see, once upon a time there was this guy (let’s call him guy#1)…and we had a physical relationship…and that’s all I ever thought it was…so one day I found another guy (call him guy#2) who looked at me like I was more than just sex, and I started seeing guy#2…I was honest with guy#1 about it but come to find out, he had been interested in me in more than a physical way, too.  I didn’t know.  He never told me.  And I liked him.  But I had already committed to someone else.  Well, guy#2 lost his damn mind and I had to let him go…Guy#1 and I started up again…but apparently he was hurt…so he hurt me back…even though I had NEVER intended to hurt him because I had NO CLUE he was interested.  So last night I erased his number…my first attempt in erasing him from my life.  Because every time he shows up in it, I get sad…and I don’t want to be sad.  I want to be in control of my emotions.  And with him…I’m not.
So, yea, even strong women get a bit love-sick.  It’s sorta what makes us human, I guess.  I’m going to falter…a lot…and I’m going to feel sick to my heart…most likely more than once…and I may hang my head for a little bit, run 5 miles at an insane pace, listen to sappy/crappy music, dwell a little on the pain….but I WILL pick my head back up, and I will laugh, and I will still throw in some gangsta’ rap and I will count my blessings…Because this, too, shall pass… (I’m still gonna try and run an insane 5-miler, tho).

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