Fellas — and ladies — online dating is a fucking nightmare. But we’re all doing it so let’s try to make the process as easy as possible. I didn’t ever think I would need to go into a diatribe of the ‘do’s and don’ts’ of online dating but apparently I do!
It’s not hard to remember the social rules of online dating…but more and more dudes seemingly need a gentle reminder (i.e. throat punch) on how to interact with someone…women in particular. If you made a mistake and swiped right instead of left, or starred someone who you have changed your mind about, don’t be a passive aggressive asshole in the convo…if you’re not interested, exit stage left. If you ARE interested, ask fucking questions.
Recently, here is a snippit of a convo I had with a dude that “matched” with me. True story.
Me: “Morning! I’m Regan. Since you don’t have any bio info yet, I can’t pick something out to be sarcastic about. How was your eve?
Him: “Didn’t sleep well. Kept waking up all night. Oh well TGIF.” How are you this morning?”
My Brain: ok. so what the fuck is your name? Cuz here in Texas, if you don’t intro yourself it’s considered fucking rude
Me: “I’m doing great now that it’s Fri. Heading to Austin manana to do family things. What about you?”
Him: “I’ll be getting my son around 6 today for the weekend. Other than that I haven’t made any plans”
My Brain: …………..?????……?????? Just waiting for the ball to be bounced back, dude.
Me: (ok. I bite) “Nice. How old is your kiddo?”
Him: “4, my little mini lol”
My Brain: ……..?????……????? waiting for something substantial. I’m done asking the questions here.
Me: “Good age.” (two can play at the mundane convo game)
Him: “For sure. He’s finally getting into all sorts of activities. Baseball, karate, gymnastics, and swimming.”
My Brain: …….??????…..????? At least he had the correct use of punctuation in that sentence.
Me: (biting the bullet one. last. time) “You sound like a very proud dad.”
Him: “Well duh lol” — long pause since I’m not responding at this point — “What part of town do you live in??”
My Brain: FINALLY – a semblance of a “getting to know you” question.” Maybe he has hope.
Me: “XXXX. You?” (I really didn’t put those x’s in, but I don’t need to broadcast where I live on this blog)
Him: “XXX, too close to not to get together LOL
My Brain: Was that a backdoor invitation for a date? …….ok, I’ll give it one last ditch effort.
Me: “What do you like to do for fun?”
Him: “I’m pretty much up for anything.”
I’m out, people.