SHIT’S ABOUT TO GET REAL

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Well.  It’s my last week of being 36…I know, I know…some of you out there say 36 is still young, etc…HOWEVER, in the realm of all I want to accomplish and do in my life, turning 37 is abso-fucking-lutely scary.  I know I blog a lot about dating, and I make fun of some of the dates I’ve been on and online profiles, etc…but let me be real for a sec.

I really and truly do want to find love again one day and I’d like to have a family one day…what that translates into for my age is that my time is dwindling for that family part.  And here are the three reasons why — (1) I’m getting to a “risky” age in actually carrying a child…I’m definitely not opposed to adopting but I’d like to have both options (some people are like ’37 is a good age to get preggers’ and i’m like ‘yes…but I’m not getting knocked up by the first guy I see…there’s a process to having a family that I’d like to do….like, oh, I don’t know…fall in love’); (2) most of the men I’m meeting/dating already have children — which is not a problem for me, but they may have already tapped out on family expansion and are just looking for a less complicated relationship (fair enough, but that just limits my dating pool); and thirdly (3) Some men have made it this far in life and have decided they don’t want children…so – odds really are sorta stacked against me on the family part.  If I didn’t have that factor in the mix, I’m sure I wouldn’t have such a difficult time attracting and retaining (yes, that is some romantic terminology there.  Yes I am in marketing).

None of this is to say that I’m in a position to jump into a relationship no holds barred…there’s a selection and getting to know you process that is mandatory for a relationship in general.  I’m not one to skip that part.  And because I’m divorced, I need to do a THOROUGH vetting before that relationship is pursued cuz this shit ain’t happening twice.

So, long explanation to the fact that, in the growing days until I change over to the 37, I’m starting to really reflect on what I’ve done and what’s the most important shit to me.  I’m a list girl so I’ll just go ahead and do that shit right here:

SHIT I’VE DONE THAT MAKES ME PROUD:

  1. I make a great living (despite certain attitudes about it) and can support myself comfortably
  2. I’ve visited over 30 countries on this planet, most of them whilst traveling solo, so I feel as if my personality has been multi-culturally influenced.
  3. I’m a damn good Aunt — super proud of my niece and nephew
  4. Got through undergrad and grad school…so…there’s that.
  5. I left a marriage from a really good man because I wasn’t happy; instead of faking it the rest of my life.  *I say I’m proud of this because a lot of women stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of vows.  Even if the guy was good (which my ex-husband is)…sometimes it takes leaving to really see just how unhappy you really were…And I feel it was a brave move on my part to take ownership of finding my happiness. 
  6. I’m a decent and honest human being…regardless of my rants against the stupid people of this world, I treat everyone as I would want to be treated…unless they piss me off then the levy breaks and a torrent of profanity, sarcasm and passive aggression may ensue.  Maybe…. most likely… It will
  7. I have AMAZING friends and family.  Now, I’m not sure if I actually did that or not, but their amazingness and undying love and support have been the icing to my life.  If I had nothing else above save them, I would still feel as if my life was full of accomplishment.  Because I like icing.

So, yea…37 is coming.  And though I don’t feel it nor look it (I think), it is a real number and with that number comes real-life shit associated with it.  I think I’m going to have to get off online dating and meet people the old-fashioned way…through alcohol and poor judgement.

 

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2 thoughts on “SHIT’S ABOUT TO GET REAL

  1. Skip the poor judgement and spend time in another arena. Volunteer to help with outdoor sporting events…start going to more Art Galleries/Symphony events..volunteer to help organize them or use your talent in technology. Do what you love..volunteer for helping at risk kids, become a mentor. These places and organizations have a better gene pool for equal minded men who actually meet some of your criteria. Better yet, create a program and recruit men and women who have same passions as you. Especially with regard to helping children to become safer, better educated, impassioned, and independent so they do not grow up to feel entitled to everything they want. Empower them to understand one has to work to experience gratitude… is it builds confidence and character. Education is the key…to a better life.
    There are like minded men out there with your same principles, standards, and desire for a life partner to create and build a family. So when your perceive hearing a clock ticking…virtually throw it out the window…the perfect partner requires time and sometimes you have to do quite a bit of digging to excavate your way through the bedrock of limestone to find one fleck of gold….or possibly a whole vein …..37 is only a number…a very low number…..

    Liked by 1 person

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