Ah, the time of year where the culmination of all the experiences gathered in 2016 start to play over in my head…I wish I could say I’m an eternal optimist. I mean, those people have their shit together and seem to have good things happen to them all the time…maybe I’ll try it on for size in 2017…but since we have about 23 more days in this hella year, I’m gonna continue down the “hopeful pessimist” path…Strap in, sit back, pour a beer/wine/whiskey/vodka/chocolate milk and enjoy the bitching…
So, yea…if you read back in my blog history, you see all my experiences with online dating, craptastic dates, heart-break, horrific employment experience, travel, friends, etc. Essentially my shit is all over the place. I’ve been funny. I’ve been sad. I’ve been mad. But most of all, I’ve been real. So, I’ll open up a little more here and invite you into more realness of Regan (it’s a thing and you will LOVE it).
As the year closes in, I start to get a little sad…that’s not to be confused with feeling sorry for myself…I mean, I know have a good life comparatively, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get a little melancholy or wish that some things are different.
So, I have a job that challenges me again. Check. Great friends (even though I NEVER see them anymore — if you are one of them, yes, feel fucking guilty). Check. Financially secure and independent. Check. I’m not ugly. Check. Well traveled and carrying on with that. Check. In essence, I have a lot more checks than blank spaces…but I do have one big blank space — I’m tired of being single. When you have all these checks in your life, the blanks tend to become huge fucking neon signs that continuously blink in their obnoxious neon colours.
Whereas I once was perfectly content with the single life…I’m now seriously sick of it. And before ANYONE out there chimes in, let me give you a list of things NOT to say to a single person who is looking for love:
DO NOT tell me that he will come along when I least expect it. The next person who says this, I’m going to throat-punch. I get it. I don’t have control of time. But this piece of advice is like telling me to just ignore my laundry and it will somehow miraculously get done (I MAY rather this happen than a spontaneous relationship — I dunno. 50/50).
DO NOT tell me that I’m a great catch and any guy would be lucky to be with me. I get it. I am. But this is not helpful advice. The other part of that equation is that I have to actually LIKE the dude as well. It’s a two-fucking-way street. And I don’t like many people so this presents a challenge.
DO NOT tell me that it’s “just not my time.” I GET that timing is important. In fact, the only two dudes that I truly wanted to date this year had horrific timing — both on their parts, btw.
DO NOT tell me that there is someone out there for me. I do not believe in predestination so, hopefully this phrase helps you more than it ever will for me. I get there are millions of men out there in the world — the idea that only ONE of them is meant for me is, in my mind, preposterous. I would really just like to meet a dude who likes me, and I like him, and hopefully we can develop a relationship from there (there is more to it than that, but for brevity’s sake….). I’m a hopeless (yes, hopeless, not hopeful…remember it’s still 2016) romantic but I’m also a realist.
So, there you have it…I’m sure there is more stupid advice out there — chime in and I’ll let you know if it’s ridiculous or not. But, yea…I get lonely. I actually do have girly tendencies. I just don’t let them out often…