Ah, it’s been a minute…I’ve missed it here. Just life has been so fucking busy that any moment I have to myself is spent on a bottle of wine and a hot bath…Let’s just say, life took an interesting (and awesome) turn four weeks ago and I’m back to being in a good place. Any longer in my former funk and I would have had to have committed myself. But alas, nothing a new job and travel can’t fix…so, I’m back in the land of the living. Sort of. However, I’m not here to bore you with details of my new and adventurous life…I’m here to, once again, try and teach you dudes a little lesson. Sit back. Listen well. And hopefully you’re successful in your next love endeavors. No, I’m not back on dating sites. Fuck those. F.O.R.E.V.E.R. Though they gave GREAT stories for my blog, the effort was seriously more than I wanted to put into “finding” a dude…I much prefer meeting guys the old fashioned way…through alcohol and bad decisions.
With that said, let me address the title of this blog — Do I believe people can change? Sure. Do I believe that people will have regrets about moments in their life? Absolutely. Do I believe that if a dude from MY past sends me flowers and says he realizes he fucked up I should give him another chance? Absolutely not. And let me tell you why….(again, case by case basis, but this is pretty much universal).
I understand timing is pretty much everything in this universe. Never more so now than before (job and stuff). However, I have this existential karmic belief system that I go by — be respectful and honest to people and eventually you will be rewarded. Even if it may hurt people in the moment, honesty, eventually, will be your saving grace. And if you’re ever dishonest to someone you supposedly care about, karma will reign down on you one of these days and flip your world…And you’ll wake up one day, realize you done fucked up, send flowers to a girl thinking that just by dipping your toe back into the pond you may have a chance. Couldn’t be further from the truth as far as I’m concerned. When I put effort into something, I gauge the amount of effort being put back…I don’t go full in unless I feel the other part of that equation equals out…when it doesn’t, I’m out. Plain and simple. I will, without hesitation, walk the fuck away. But if I feel your effort is sincere and you really dig me, I’ll give back. In the case of flowers dude; so many months ago I gave and foolishly invested; felt minimal in return though was told different…his actions didn’t follow. I left. Short and sweet. I was honest about my interest. He was not.
So, back to why I don’t believe in second chances when it comes to dating(speaking from short term dating experiences, not long term ones…there’s a certain amount of investment involved in long-term so there may be wiggle room there. Situation-dependent). When you date someone you get one chance to make a good impression. This is where you’re supposed to shine. Where you are supposed to mutually lavish adoration and interest on each other. When one person fucks that up in a short time frame, it’s pretty much a window into that person’s capability of being the other half of a relationship. Yeah, they’re human and make mistakes…but if you like someone, you make sure you treat them with the utmost honesty and respect starting off in the beginning and don’t let that wain. If you lead them on knowing you aren’t ready to fully invest, you’re setting yourself up for karmic retribution somewhere down the line. Case-in-point…flowers dude. I do have to give it to him, though…it took guts to reach out in that manner. I wish him the best and hope he does better with someone next time ’round. For me, if I invest anything up front only to have it obliterated, there’s little chance my heart could take round two. A tiger doesn’t change its stripes.
Ladies, be secure enough to know you deserve the good shit…and I don’t suggest subjecting yourself twice to someone who doesn’t recognize that from the beginning.