….nothing right now. That’s what. For the past 8 months I’ve been stuck in a cycle of monotony – same shit different day. I AM NOT A FUCKING MONOTONOUS PERSON (don’t misread that as ‘monogamous.’)! I can’t function if my life is ‘normal.’ My personality thrives on stress and adrenaline-fueled crisis management. I thrive in environments where I need to multitask and make quick, strategic decisions. And I am SO not in that environment and I’m ‘THIS’ close to making a rash decision in order to shake my world up a bit.
So, by ‘rash’ I really mean a well-thought-out-pros-and-cons-weighed decision…but the decision itself will make life a bit more interesting. I’m not talking about anything SUPER life-altering like having a baby or changing my gender…but when I’m left to a life of uniformity my mind starts going a bit crazy.
I’ve gone down the depression path and that life doesn’t suit me…I’ve given up online dating completely because that’s not the type of crazy I want nor need in life….I’ve adopted a 75 lb 8-month-old “puppy” but his lunacy is already normal to me…No. I’m talking about something life-changing but not TOO insane. I’m working towards it…I’m not ready to make the leap JUST yet, but it’s coming. I’m 37-fucking-years old…this life of monotonous routine does not suit me. I need adventure. I need the good type of crazy. I need something to look forward to. I need to love again…something. Anything. I’ll start with life and see what else follows suit.