In memory of Naya, a.k.a. “The Best Dog in the World.”
July 30, 2001 – Sept 8, 2016
I know I’m overdue for a good post. But life has been fairly rough. Last week I had to make the hardest decision of my life and lay to rest my soul-mate. Naya was literally the best companion anyone could have ever wanted. Everyone who met her instantly fell in love with her. Her loyalty and desire to please were unending and she left a huge hole in my life. So when I say it’s been rough, I mean it’s been literal hell. Top that with a toxic job and let’s just say I’ve been a bit depressed. HOWEVER…I’mma keep going.
So, since this post started off melancholy and bitching, I’m going to continue the line of complaints and catch you up on other sad shit. For those of you who follow my blog, remember a while back when I was all twisted over a guy who couldn’t get over an ex so I left the situation? Yea, well, he came back momentarily. And let me tell you, even the good guys can go rogue.
Remember how I gushed about him being a really great guy just bad timing for us? Remember how I explained that had that timing been on point we’d be really good together? Oh, and remember how I said that he told me he really really liked me he just needed to get closure on his previous situation but had that situation not been a reality he would be trying to date me seriously (I may not have revealed that last bit in my blog but he did say that in real life to me)? So, yea. He supposedly got his closure (I dunno because I didn’t ask) and he asked me out on dates. This time around, I left my heart at the door before going out with him. I mean, it was there when I walked back into the house, but he didn’t get much of it. I needed a bit of protection. Anyhow, this dude, who I had previously truly adored, took me out on a couple of dates and they were great. I had told him that I wanted to take things slow and he agreed. He knew his last appearance in my life caused a bit of heartache (maybe “a bit” is minimizing the extreme). I had been honest with him about that. So, when I started having to be “scheduled” or “fit” into his availability, I began to realize that (#sorrynotsorry) “he’s just not that into me.” But, I gave it one last shot — we planned a date a week and a half in advance. Day before, he texts me inquiring about what I want to do the next day.
Warning #1: Dude doesn’t go through the effort of actually planning something for us = just like my ex-husband.
He then requests that I come up with something since he’s “not that creative.”
Warning #2: Am I about to re-live my marriage by planning everything?????
So, just for shits and grins, I throw out options, he’s agreeable to most — I purchase all necessary tickets.
Warning #3: Just dropped nearly $200 on a date with someone I think I just already divorced in my head. I. Am. An. Idiot.
However, we go on said date because the activities I had planned were truly activities I wanted to do. I would have done them anyway but at half the cost…whatevs. But also, I truly do like the guy. As much as I’m about to complain, I don’t think he’s a bad dude…Date was very nice. He is a great guy in the moment. Attentive and affectionate. He bought dinner so that was cool.
Caveat: I am NOT opposed to paying for dates as long as the situation is 50/50…And with this dude, it literally was. He had taken me out before on a date or two and paid –not letting me pay for anything….This time around, though, the warning signs for me were that he had no forethought into our date; which means that I felt he was just going along with it at this point because he committed to it, not because he was into me…So I felt as if I were spending money on my dying meal (which would be EPIC btw, however not a very good feeling to have when preparing for a date).
Anyhow, date was great. All ended. Takes me home. Fast forward other BS, and the conversation ended this way (and yes, I quote him).
“On paper, you are everything I want. There’s just something missing.”
To which I reply: Then why’d you even come back
“I thought that if we dated slowly, something would spark.”
To which I reply: I am not your love experiment. Either you like me or you don’t.
Ladies and gents: Words of wisdom when you’re dating someone who is really into you and you know it but you’re not “feeling it:” Leave. Do not string them along because you know they are good for you but you just can’t get the chemistry right. Your selfishness of knowing the person you’re dating is perfect “on paper” but you just can’t get to “that place” is only hurting the person you’re dating. Don’t string us great gals (and guys) along just to see if you can fall. If there is an innate, gut feeling that you aren’t into them, then do us a favor and don’t create false expectations. Just go.
Caveat for statement above: This is a specific scenario. Not a “regular” dating scenario. If there is history there, there is personalization. If you’re just dating to see if there is compatibility, then game on. For this situation, compatibility had already been established. Previously chemistry had as well…apparently that can be lost.
Oh, and have your shit together. I don’t want to have to prove to you that I’m the best. You should already know this….maaaaaan!
P.S. I’m a sucker for dog rescue societies. I’ve entered my old girl into a calendar contest…yes, I would like you to follow this link and yes, it will require a minimum $5 donation ($1 per vote) — but your donation goes toward food and veterinary supplies and services for animals who are either stray or have been abandoned. A little helps…plus my girl could get famous. Please vote for Naya in her memory!