This kid’s situation pretty much sums up my life these days…feeling like I’m stuck in the shitter while someone laughs their ass off and takes time-freezing photos of my precarious situation so they can one day pull out the precious keepsake and show it around to the world to prove how fucked up I was at the time. So, yea…that’s me–I mean, that’s not ME in the pic, but it’s the metaphorical me– Stuck amidst all the shit this world can pour down on me and feeling completely overwhelmed on how to start wading out of it.
And I’m exhausted. Thoroughly, utterly and completely exhausted (all extremes of the same description really). I am so ready for some ray of sunshine to break through this BS. I’m tired of all my blogs saying the exact same damn thing because my mental block cannot chisel past my self-loathing. I want to be ME again…and this is DEFINITELY not me.
On the outside I’m still the jovial, sarcastic little shit I’ve always been…but everyday I get up and it takes physical effort to form words and wit. I’m consciously trying to ‘fake it till I make it’ or some crap like that. I’m definitely taking pro-active steps to get myself out of the funk that I’ve been in, but this whole patience BS has me all twisted. I’m seeing little to no return on my time investments and I think THAT in and of itself is what is getting me all depressed. I literally wake up every day, give myself a little pep talk to just make some reaffirmations, then proceed with the life that I’m in…and I am dog tired.
This is such a whiny blog post. Part of me wants to just erase the whole damn thing, but the the other part is trying to make a point to the world — the point being that even when shit doesn’t go our way, we still have to be adults and proceed with the life we’re dealt…even if it is (hopefully) a temporary situation. I cannot WAIT until I can provide some funny antics to you guys again. Meanwhile…#sorrynotsorry