LET’S JUST BE HONEST…LET’S JUST BE REAL

316311a642a6a94bc9c4eb97280a1feeI’m a full believer in being impeccable with one’s word. If you’ve never read the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, I highly suggest it. The philosophies are applicable across all elements of life and I honestly think if everyone adopted them and put them into action, we’d have a significant decrease in douchebagism in general…especially dating.

Before I address them, I want to give a shout out to a special lady (PZ, you know who you are) who has indicated to me she’s had a bit of turmoil in the love department.  Her situation, much like one I’ve been through in recent past, inspired me to dust off the book again and skim through as a refresher.  And boy am I glad I did because so many of you idiots out there need a lesson in how to treat people.  I still recommend you read the book, but I’m going to break it down into terminology that hopefully a 2 year old baby monkey would understand.  Here goes:

  1. “Be impeccable with your word.” – aka – don’t say shit you don’t mean.  Before you open that pie-hole of yours, take inventory of how you ACTUALLY feel, then say that.  Don’t say things to make anyone feel as if you’re either feeding them a load of horseshit or (even worse) make them feel as if they’re actually special to you when you know deep down you’re not that into her/him.  Be fucking real.  I think dudes believe they have to handle women with kidd gloves (else they snap into stage 5 clingers) so they just spout off flowery words that make the lady fall into the moment so they don’t have to address the awkwardness of saying “I don’t dig you.”  I think women are guilty of being WAY too accepting of the BS some men spout off and are led (in that moment) too much by their heart and less by logic.  If we were all just honest with ourselves and each other, we’d eliminate about 60% of the drama we’re subconsciously creating.  Say what you mean and do what you say.  It’s that fucking simple.  Stop fucking around with people’s emotions/hearts.
  2. “Don’t take anything personally.” – My mom and stepfather are recovering drug addicts and alcoholics.  I grew up in “the AA/AlaNon world” so I was essentially brainwashed with mantras and sayings that supposedly help struggling addicts and their loved ones get through their shit (I may have just inadvertently discovered why I love wine so much).  Some things were a bit out there, but some things stuck with me.  And this is one of them: Nothing other people do (i.e. drink, use, not drink, not use) is because of you.  People drink, use, treat others like shit, etc because it is a direct projection of their own reality.  Not because of something you did, but because of something they perceive is happening in their own world.  So stop mourning over whether or not s/he likes you or whether or not s/he finds you attractive….Essentially stop feeling like you have the power to change his/her mind about something.  You don’t.  Don’t play victim.  They’ll have to sort their own shit out.  You do you and let that shit roll off your back.  It’s not about you.
  3. “Don’t make assumptions.” — aka stop making up fucking fairy tales and ask the hard questions.  I think women are worse at this assumptions bullshit.  Men are fairly straight-forward creatures by nature (well, most of them).  They’ve only been conditioned to not be so abrupt with women because of our so-called “delicate natures.”  Well, sister, you are not a delicate fucking flower.  Time to start accepting real talk.  And men, do us a solid and just open your mouths and communicate. We should all be CLEAR about our intentions so as to avoid any misconstrual of a situation.  Knowing where one stands can potentially mitigate any sadness and drama in the future.
  4. “Always do your best.” — aka don’t be a lazy fucktard.  Give life your all so that when shit doesn’t work out, you can look at yourself in the mirror and accept the outcome with grace.  Typically when people start out in a relationship they have butterflies and they go in guns blazing and all things rainbows and unicorns…then, naturally, the unicorns disappear to wherever the elusive unicorn goes, rainbows fade and you run out of ammo…HOWEVER, in the moment those butterflies die (man I’m killing off a lot of magical creatures), take inventory of what you DO have and do whatever you can to keep that relationship thriving.  All things end one way or another…but when it does, don’t you want to go out knowing you did your best?  Regret is a fucking bitch.   If someone really likes you, they should be doing their damnedest to make your realize it.  If they’re not, they’re (a) not operating at their highest potential and/or (b) essentially showing you they don’t care enough for you to put forth the effort.  Don’t ever settle.  Find someone who is striving to do their best at all times.

I’m fairly certain a 2-year-old baby monkey could grasp these concepts as I explained them…But remember, these truths are not just for dating.  They’re applicable (more so) to life in general.  I just thought I’d spin ’em up a bit as it relates to dating…So, go out there, be impeccable with your word and say what you mean; don’t take things personally because no one has the power to make you do or feel except you; don’t assume a dude/gal likes you just because s/he pays a lot of attention to you (that shit can turn on a dime); and just keep doing the best you can with what you’re given.  Even if your best one day is the bare minimum…it’s still your best for that day.

Peace, love, prosperity and all that shit.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “LET’S JUST BE HONEST…LET’S JUST BE REAL

  1. I would also say don’t try to please everyone, all the time. It’s impossible to do that because someone ends up disappointed and you end up stressed out. I am horrible at trying to be all things to all people.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are most likely right…half the time I’m just spouting off shit in the hopes that SOMEONE will pick up what I’m putting down…if I could just change ONE person for the better…. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. In the end, after all the dust has settled, the one thing, the only thing a man will have left, is his word. The importance of a man’s word cannot be emphasized enough.

    The tongue is the most powerful part of the human body. Not in the physical sense, but in regards to the mental, emotional, and spiritual. The tongue can break a person down, or it can build up. The worse thing anyone can do to another, is gossip about that person. To put it simply, talk shit behind the back. The tongue can, and will cause all different types of circumstances, including fights, and even wars. The tongue however, as mentioned before, can also build up. To encourage. To inspire. The phrase, ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me’ isn’t true at all. Words are very powerful, and it is, and should be the very foundation on which trust is built upon.

    Words must be followed by actions. If there aren’t any actions to back up the words, then the words spoken are meaningless. Words in itself can break a man, or make a man. If a man speaks, and his words become empty resulting from no actions backing up the words, he will break himself. On the flip side, if he keeps his words, through his actions, he will build himself a foundation of trust, love, and respect. Promises which can’t be kept should not be made. It is the very words which emerge from a man’s mouth that others will trust. He must be very careful in choosing his words, also making sure the words are followed through. As important it is in choosing what words to say, it’s equally important how it is spoken.

    Unfortunately, a lot of deception exists in the world today. Words will be used in order to deceive, and even to entice such as, trying to get into a woman’s pants using flattery, and empty words. I must say, in today’s society, there are many guys, dudes, or whatever you’d like to call them, but only a few men. A man, defined by the integrity of his words. Not used to abuse, deceive, or entice, but words to build. To build a relationship, to encourage, inspire, and to earn the trust of another.

    The words that come out of a man’s mouth is what he holds in his heart. “The tongue is the bucket, and the heart is the well from which the water is drawn”. – Pastor Chuck Swindoll

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s