AM I SUPPOSED TO BE LEARNING A LESSON HERE?… CUZ I’M ABOUT AS PATIENT AS A CRACKHEAD WITHOUT A LIGHTER RIGHT NOW

cc1b3546425ceaabcefaa53cd9d5b053I’m super diligent.  I’m extremely pro-active.  I’ve been exerting a fuck-ton of energy into an endeavor for about 4 months now…a door opened, but then seemingly shut. Radio silence.  A promise made, then disappeared with no explanation.  I’m baffled.  And deflated.  I had a whole week of happiness…only to be right back to where I was before.  I’m mad.  I’m frustrated.  I’m ready to let some heads roll….And for all of you who tell me to ‘let go and let God,’ or that ‘good things come to those who wait,’ or some other iteration of rhetorical folly, hold your tongues because you don’t want me to unleash my diatribe of ‘fuck yous’ or launch a Hiroshima-sized nuclear bomb into your rainbow-and-unicorn-filled world.  I’m mad.  I’m sad.  I’m frustrated and mostly pissed at myself.  And, NO!  This has zero association with my dating life.

I guess I need to vent more than anything, but I do have my extreme doubts on this whole ‘patience is a virtue’ thing.  Why can’t ‘consideration for other people’s time and effort’ be a virtue, huh?  Don’t get me wrong.  I can wait until the apocalypse if I know the outcome and have an understanding and the reassurance of completion…but I struggle immensely with a verbal promise and no follow through.  Especially if my livelihood and happiness are on the line.  I know, I know.  I could be experiencing one of life’s INFINITE amount of disappointments…again…  And ‘this too shall pass’ and whatever…but fuck if I don’t expend an enormous amount of effort into this endeavor only to be met with roadblock after roadblock….It’s exhausting.  It sucks out every ounce of happiness/joy I have in life and I’m losing faith little by little.

There needs to be a big life change…I’m talking epic proportions.

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7 thoughts on “AM I SUPPOSED TO BE LEARNING A LESSON HERE?… CUZ I’M ABOUT AS PATIENT AS A CRACKHEAD WITHOUT A LIGHTER RIGHT NOW

  1. I understand the general frustration, if not the specifics. I hate hearing that “patience is a virtue” nonsense; I’m patient until someone starts wasting my time. As soon as that happens, I’m done being patient… why be patient and let someone else treat you like dirt? Well, as it happens there’s no reason to do that.

    People are too obsessed with this “polite society” crap, but they’re only interested in it as a one-way street. And I’ve never experienced that “one way” directed toward me. Oh, no. Everyone one else wants me to be accommodating, but they can’t be bothered to be punctual when my time’s at stake.

    Knowing I have a (very) small amount of patience for this sort of thing, I’ve even lately taken to making more an effort into being patient — you know, in case my threshold is just too small. That’s made absolutely zero difference. Give an inch, take a mile seems to be the response.

    And then people wonder why society is rude? Fuck ’em indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I recognize how little it may mean that some random stranger (who stumbled on your blog and enjoys reading your views/rants/posts) sympathizes and understands… and even appreciates the point you’re trying to get across.

        But I do.

        Like

  2. I can tell you, my solutions for shiznit like this have been pretty deplorable. But I get it…oh trust me, I get it a lot.
    There just comes a point in some things…actually, nevermind, that is your point…there seems to be no effing point to pushing effort into something. Nevermind, I’m pointless. I mean…well…don’t ask me, I ain’t got a clue…or a crackpipe.

    Like

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