Yep, I think I discovered the world’s BIGGEST douchebag a week or so ago. And it was SO bad, that I just have to laugh. I didn’t write about it as soon as it happened because, if you’ve been reading my blogs, you know I’ve been going through some emotional BS so I needed to filter through that. I accepted a date with this guy because I needed to take steps to get over another one. And I don’t think I did myself any favors in this epically horrendous decision.
It seriously just baffles me how inhumane some men are. Case-in-point:
So this dude and I scheduled a date a while back…I had put him off for a while due to potential with someone else, but when all that fell through I thought I should at least give him a chance…so I got all purtied up (nice dress and heels and makeup – the whole nine) because he made reservations at a really fantastic restaurant. Plus, I was feeling a bit like shit emotionally so I thought I’d cover it all up with whatever hotness I could muster. Anyway, he picked me up and off we went. My first alarm bell went off when we were sat by our hostess. Now, I don’t claim to be drop dead gorgeous — but I can pull my own; so when our beautiful, young waitress led us to our table, I couldn’t help but notice my date ogling her. I’m not above recognizing beauty and, if I were dating this dude for real, I get that he (or anyone of the hetero-male species) would glance and appreciate another beautiful woman: BUT (and this is a major fucking ‘but’) if you’re on a first date with ANYONE, you should keep yourself in check. Don’t be eye-fucking someone else while you’re trying to establish some sort of relationship with another. Ok…so, I was a bit put off by this, but decided to keep the date going. I mean, I do love food.
Decent convo, great meal, good laughs…After he grabbed the bill (slowly redeeming himself at this point) he asked if I wanted to go grab a drink somewhere…I saw no harm in this as he had not performed any other first-date transgressions, so we headed to the bar. Caveat – he went in for a kiss, and it was great so I thought maybe this was a pretty decent guy…I should have trusted the gut instinct when I caught him staring at the hostess because shit went downhill REAL quick after this.
I’m not a clubber. My type of preferred bar is either a dive I can wear flip flops and cutoffs to, or a nice wine/whiskey bar with a little lounge type of feel. Either way, I like to keep it pretty low key and simple for first dates. So when the driver dropped us off at what I can only describe as a “douche bar” I started to get a bit apprehensive. Worse yet, we walked in and this mother fucker knew EVERYONE in the place. He intro’d me to a couple of friends then, prior to running off to get our drinks, he whispered in my ear “Don’t try to go shot for shot with me…I can drink and weigh more than you.” Pause.
- Is this some backwards, douchey way of being concerned about me?
- I’m an adult and can definitely gauge my alcohol intake thank you very much.
- Are we still on a date or are we clubbing now? I’m so confused.
Douche returns with drinks (sans a shot for me because no thank you) and proceeds to take multiple shots with all his friends…I feel like I’m in some sort of alter-universe or frat party (same thing) at this point. Clearly this date was over and he was in party mode. This asshole didn’t even stand by me most of the time we were there…AND, at one point, he came over and told me not to get jealous of the girl in the blue dress…What fucking girl in the blue dress? And why would I be jealous? And what the hell are we even talking about?
I’m stone cold sober and starting to plan my exit. This situation just can’t be real. Maybe if I was in my 20’s this shit would fly and I could be THAT girl who is cool with partying with strangers on a first date…but not this 37 year old. I like my dates to, oh, I don’t know, pay attention to me and get to know me. Clearly this was not that date.
So dude disappeared and left me talking to a couple of his friends (who happened to be fairly cool) — 15 or 20 mins later I noticed he was no where around. I then looked down at my phone and realized he had texted that he threw up in the bathroom. So that was my cue. I said goodbye to his friends, grabbed a taxi and never looked back. It’s quite possible he’s still lying there weeks later…One can hope.
Lessons from this little gem of a date:
- Listen to your gut. First sign of disrespect means he’s a repeat offender. Every. Time. GTFO
- If a guy says “he can drink”….clearly he’s delusional. But, hey….karma
- I now have a genuine scale of which to measure all douchebags by…so far this dude is so far in the lead I think he’s lapped them all.
What is wrong with people!!??